a sunset for the deceased.
Produced by Chris Siders.
Mixed and Mastered by Nemesyzz Rigby
This was the last song I written, produced and turned in for this project. As this body of work mainly speaks to grief it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t speak on my loved ones that passed away the past two and a half years.
I yearn for a good life often, as if I don’t already have one. While yes, there’s a lot of dark things happening, I am incredibly blessed. It would be extremely disrespectful to everyone that came before me and that transitioned to flat out say I didn’t have it good. Life comes with adversities. There’s no avoiding that. My intention with my artistry and even more now is to honor the legacy.
With that being said, in this one verse song I said almost everyone’s name while mentioning my father. My brother Evan Carter. My cousin Symphony Glasper. My grandmother Dorothy Siders. I have a very complicated relationship and conflicting feelings with my grandfather Louis Carter that I am still processing. In the breatheslow, I mentioned briefly the violence inflicted upon my mother and how that has effected the way she approaches conflict and communication.
As for everyone else I put everyone’s name in the verse:
“Evan’s toll belling through the streets.”
The term “belling” is rooted in gang culture. To bell in the street is through your set trip essentially or boldly proclaim where you from. My brother Evan was a Piru from Pasadena. At his funeral there was a lot of people belling with they red bandanas. The line is also a play on words for the old saying “For Whom The Bell Tolls” typically in reference to the death of an individual. Evan passed away to substance abuse in March 2020.
“Father bestowed lessons before his passing/ no sudden moves as police sirens sing along symphonies (symphony’s)”
My cousin Symphony Glasper. She struggled with the sickle cell since I was a kid. Slowly getting worst and worst over the years. One moment she’s in a wheel chair. Next shes in the wheel chair with an oxygen tank. Be gone to the hospital for weeks, sometimes months at a time. I remember she told me sometimes doctors struggle finding a vein on her arm to draw blood from so they would have to draw blood from her toe or foot. About week after my Dad passed away, she texted me “i love you.” She was in the hospital at the time. We didn’t want to tell her what was going on to not stress her out. I never opened that text message. She passed March 16th 2023.
The first time I ever seen my father cry I was in my early 20’s. He told me that I have the sickle cell trait. Before he passed, he always felt that his sickle cell was getting worst.
“Dorothy texting me happy birthday before pleading “take me lord I’m ready”
My Grandmother, Dorthy Siders. The family hustle work ethic genes come from her. She does not let up. She keeps going by any means. Her faith in God makes her unbreakable. As a kid, me, Symphony and my sister would go to her house and play the uno card game. Judge Judy would be playing in the background and all her favorite daytime court TV shows. She would makes some fire banana puddling sometimes.
September 29th, 2021. The night of birthday I was in Monterey celebrating with some friends getting sushi in downtown. I was in the area in general doing an performance for old capital books poetry festival. My granny texted me happy birthday. The next morning, I get a tearful call from my Dad saying Granny passed away. My auntie who is her primary care taker, said the night before, after Granny texted me said the words “I am ready to go, God.” Not even 12 hours later. She passes.
The clip at the end of the song after the second chorus is me saying a few words at my father’s funeral March 2nd 2023.
Video shot and edited by Cosmo Free
Sound:
Sonically I didn’t want the song to sound dark. Again the idea is to honor legacy or other words have a beautiful send off or acknowledge of the deceased. This sunset. I found the sample via instagram digging for random sounds weeks before I even had the idea to do this project. I revisited the sample. Slowed it down and pitched it up a bit. Made the drum sequencing pretty simple with just a kick drum, snare, tambourine and 808s. As I tell the story I want it be something you can undeniably nod your head to as you cry.
Lyrics:
Hook:
Show me that good life
that good life
What peace feel like?
What love is really like?
views from the mansion look like?
Verse:
my fatal attempts
of catching skies
divide a reign
falling to omens
that my pastor ring
a dead service
upon arrival
mournings where
my mother’s face attempts
to shine through
from the dark side
of our melanated hue
father bestowed lessons
before his passing
no sudden moves
as police sirens sing
along Symphonies
Evan toll
belling through the streets
Dorothy texting me
happy birthday before pleading
“Take me lord, I’m ready”
Hook:
Show me that good life
that good life
What peace feel like?
What love is really like?
views from the mansion look like?
show me that good life
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